I have not posted on this blog recently. I have not written not because I have been busy or because God has not been teaching me anything or because I haven’t seen any good insurance commercials or You Tube videos lately. The reason I have not posted a blog recently is merely because God and I are not on speaking terms right now. Well that isn’t entirely true. I have been talking to Him in prayer almost every morning on my walks and throughout the day. I have been reading about Samuel and Saul in the Old Testament and I have been learning some amazing insight about leadership, humility and obedience. But I have felt “distant” from God in the past few weeks. I once heard a speaker say that if you feel far from God it isn’t because He moved; you did. I thought that was true and deep when I heard it but when I heard her say that I wasn’t feeling far from God. As I was thinking about the estranged relationship I seem to be having with the Lord lately I thought again about that statement. I don’t think I have moved. As I said, I am praying every morning (for a minimum of however long it takes me to walk 2 miles). Although I have been busy lately I have been able to be in the Word semi-consistently over the past two weeks. I have been around other Christians and I have been learning things about the Lord during my time with them but I still have this feeling, like when I was in high school and someone I was dating wouldn’t return my phone calls (Not that that ever happened but I’ve heard stories).

I believe the walk of faith is often, well.., dry. I believe that although we hope for it to be filled with epiphany’s, amazing insight and those moments when the sky parts and we hear the angels singing the hallelujah chorus, the reality is walking with the Lord can often be very quiet. The ability to persevere in that silence, wonderment, doubt and or disillusionment is what Paul alludes to so frequently in the New Testament. Perseverance without an immediate or tangible reward isn’t very appealing to me. Continuing on in the disciplines of faith when day after day the phone doesn’t ring…really? Thankfully I have gone through this enough times however to know a few things about silence. Silence, first of all does not change who God is and it is not an indicator of His love or care for me (or lack of it). Silence also is not an excuse for me to quit talking to God. Silence is not a time God is punishing me (though He may be teaching me something thru it) and unlike that guy in high school does not mean He is avoiding me. If I am honest I’m not usually sure what the purpose of these times of silence are but I do know this. Times of silence make times of intimacy with Him sweeter, richer and more meaningful. Times of silence remind me what it feels like to live life without His presence and love in my life. Times of silence remind me how people who do not follow Jesus feel most all of the time; estranged, lonely and lacking direction. 

“Lord, thank you that following you is not always easy, but the peace, hope and love you provide makes any hardship worthwhile. Thank you that when following you is hard or seemingly unrewarding you are still active and good and madly in love with us. Thank you that under the context of your plan, nothing is wasted. Help me to stay firm in my faith walk and be disciplined in reading your Word and talking to you in prayer. Thank you that you never stay silent for very long and that in times of silence I appreciate you more, learn something new about my faith and what I genuinely believe about You. Talk to you soon…Amen”