Do you know the story in the Bible about David and Bathsheba? It wasn’t bad enough that David had an affair but he then had Bathsheba’s husband killed too. The most amazing part of the story however was that God’s chosen King did not even realize his sin until his buddy Nathan the prophet pointed it out to him. Was David momentarily insane that he didn’t kind of see the lack of personal holiness in all this? I mean how can a person be so blind to their own blatant sinfulness? Enter Queen Laura.

It all started Friday at Wal-Mart (I know, but just stay with me). The details of the story really aren’t important but the short version is that I got mad at my husband for something involving one of our kids and told him in my ever so loving way about my disapproval. After he stated why he did what he did I realized that I was wr…wr… wrong. And when we got in the car I apologized to him for what I said however my apology was not accepted. You see the problem was not with WHAT I said, my husband’s problem was with HOW I said it (his description included the words “with your talons out”). The entire incident gave ‘Black Friday” a whole new meaning.

The problem was not an isolated incident. The problem stemmed from a heart issue that is almost 16 years old. The problem lies in my lack of approval and respect for my husband’s parenting abilities. I could go into defending myself here but that also is part of the problem. My way isn’t just my way. My way is the right way.  The problem is I didn’t even know that I sounded that awful when I was talking to him (and I did it in front of all three kids). 

Once I finally digested how hurtful my disrespectful tone and attitude were to my husband I began to understand a little bit of King David’s momentary lapse of sanity. In hindsight I cannot believe how blind I have been. I cannot believe how much I treat my husband like he’s the enemy. I cannot believe how few times I give him the benefit of the doubt or talk to him half as nice as I would to a friend or co-worker who failed to do something the way I wanted them to. I have been hurtful and insensitive to the person I love most and to have my eyes opened to it has been humbling and painful.

The good news? Well, the good news is my husband has since forgiven me. The good news is he told me how I hurt him and by God’s grace I listened without getting defensive and I genuinely repented. The good news is although I cannot change overnight, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The good news is I think I finally hear myself and I don’t like the sound coming out of my heart and mouth.

“Dear Lord, thank you for second chances. Thank you that although I have never heard this clearly how demeaning and disrespectful I have spoken to my husband for the past 21 years, you have given me a Nathan moment and I have seen the light. Help me to be the wife my husband deserves the next time I choose to be irritated by something he is or isn’t doing. Thank you that although it is really hard to be wrong and to have my ugliness exposed, I can redeem myself through your strength and with your help. Help me hear my tone, feel my eyes rolling and be repulsed by my sarcasm toward my husband (whether verbalized or internalized). Instead of feeling good about myself by correcting and belittling Chris about things that really don’t matter, help me choose to treat him with respect and in doing so “win the war” of preserving our marriage and raising our children in a way that honors you. Amen.”