In the middle of a struggle, trial, hurt when we turn to God’s Word, what are we looking for?  I am looking for AN answer.  I am looking for AN end.  I am looking for clarity and finality.  What God spoke into my heart today however is that I should be looking for Who He is in the middle of the struggle, the trial and the hurt.  I don’t need to look for the answer and the resolution.  He is the answer and the resolution, or at least He should be.  But that isn’t what I want.  I want to open my Bible, magically and cast my eyes on a verse that provides an exact answer to what I am dealing with.  I want to run really fast to the end (maybe take my cigarette boat).  But what God is telling me right now as I read Psalm 5 and Proverbs 5 (because it is May 5th) is to look for HIM in the middle.  Learn more about HIM.  Ask, wrestle with and seek out what I believe about God in the middle when I don’t know the end of the story. What do I believe about God and his power, love and his ability to sustain us in anything?  What is God trying to teach me in order to continue to take my faith deeper and move me closer to Him while I meander impatiently through the middle?

“Dear God, although it is always my desire to know more on my timeframe, you want me to desire to know You more on yourtimeframe.  Thank you for teaching me I cannot go to the places you want to grow me if I am racing through this trial with easy, fast answers.  Although I know you don’t desire us to be in a place of confusion you do allow us to be in a position of dependency.  When I think I have it all together and think I have all the answers, I subconsciously move to a place where I do not need You as much.  Until you allow me to get to the end of this trial, help me to see You in the middle and be content in that place.  Thank you for teaching me through this challenge that this is just one in a series of trials I will get to experience in life.  And that THAT is exactly why I need to find YOU in the middle; in getting more of You (rather than “the” answer) you are equipping me for the next trial…and the next trial… and the next trial.  Help me truly believe, live out and desire that You have to be the answer, every time.  Help me to live and trust that your yoke is easy and your burden is light.  And that even in the middle I can find rest for my soul in You alone (Matt. 11:28).  Amen.”