“Why does the Bible say homosexuality is a sin?”

When a young man who’d grown up in the church asked me this question that he genuinely desired to understand, I empathized with him.

I have a close friend who’s gay. Her partner is a safe person who treats her better than her formerly verbally and physically abusive husband. They care for and love each other. Although I’ve been married to my husband for thirty-one years, I have precious, close friendships with women who understand and empathize with me in ways, I think, only women can. For many reasons, I understood the complexity of his question.

Eventually, I answered as honestly and compassionately as I could. I told him I didn’t know why many things in the Bible are considered sin. But I also told him that after five years of angrily questioning God’s goodness and love and almost walking away from my faith altogether when I was in seminary of all places, I finally came to the place where I trusted God’s love and goodness…

Even when I couldn’t understand or explain those difficult things.

I told him I didn’t know why homosexuality was a sin or why people hyper-focuses on that particular sin. Sin is sin. But I told him I’ve come to trust that if God calls something sin, it’s not because He’s a kill joy or a controlling task master. It’s because he loves and wants to protect us so things will go well with us (Deuteronomy 6:3).

I admitted that even though I’d discovered this new level of trusting God’s love and goodness, I still had questions. I still get confused, bewildered, and angry at times when I read God’s Word and live this difficult life. However, grappling through the disillusionment of hoping God is good but not really believing it – is the only way we can authentically trust Him and His love when we don’t understand.

The young man kindly thanked me but said he didn’t understand. And that’s okay. A doubtful, struggling faith is better than an indifferent one. Persevering in our fear and confusion, with an authentic desire to trust God’s goodness when we can’t see, feel, or explain it, is the only way to see and genuinely trust not only that He’s good but

The beauty and depth of His love for us.