Although the heartbeat of my ministry is to remind women that Jesus gives us our identity so it isn’t defined by how we look or what we do – I care a lot about both. Last week, after listening to amazing an sermon on identity however, I felt empowered and confident. For a few days in fact, I was on a spiritual high from those Biblical reminders about who I am because of Christ’s death.
Until Tuesday.
Tuesday, I saw a successful and beautiful work associate of my husband’s, on a zoom call with him and I was overwhelmed with jealousy. Tuesday I was enraged and annoyed that I passionately teach women to trust who God says they are, but in that moment I couldn’t. Tuesday I was frustrated that my head knew Scripture says I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, but that my heart didn’t believe or care.
Before I saw supermodel engineer lady, I was heading upstairs to read my Bible. In my jealous rage, that was the last thing I wanted to do. But as I started reading it anyway, something shifted. A small part of my brain reminded me that God cared about my tears (Psalm 56:8). A convincing Spirit-inspired whisper told me I was precious and valuable (Luke 15). The longer I trudged through Scripture, the more my pain gradually softened.
Why do I read the Bible (almost) everyday? Because Revelation 12:10 says Satan accuses us day and night. He’s constantly lying to us about our identity and worth. Reading and ruminating on God’s Word, when we least feel like it, is how to counteract that. Scripture empowers and emboldens us when we feel defeated and devastated. And tomorrow, we’ll need that “daily bread” again, because,
What we eat today won’t satisfy us tomorrow.
God knows we sometimes don’t want to talk or listen to Him but when we search desperately to hear Him, even when we least feel like it, He gives us what we need. And when we need Him again on Tuesday? He’ll joyfully and generously
Feed us again.
